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March 30, 2020

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Belarus president believes vodka and saunas will cure coronavirus

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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Dear Mr. President from Belarus,
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life or to rule a country.

"You should drink the equivalent of 40-50 milliliters of rectified spirit daily. But not at work."

Dang it, there's always a catch.

I respectfully disagree. Beer and saunas is the answer. There's nothing beer can't do. Except light beers.

The president also whole-heatedly recommends this along with a stiff daily regiment of vodka if you want to address a little thinning on top and at the same time look more sporty while being hopelessly reduced to a drunken stupor immunizing yourself.

A major network wanted to do a televised interview with the president, but his staff said he isn't feeling well and running a fever. He is likely coming down with a cold and asked the network to call back in a few days.

The science is settled.

Cut the guy some slack. Look where he's from. It shouldn't surprise anybody that the primary interests are 1) heat, and 2) alcohol.

A guy up here bought an old Belarus tractor for his hobby farm. He said it should have been called a millennial tractor because it never worked a day all the time he had it

It always cured all James Bond's ailments.

Listen to Dr. Bluto: "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

Better listen to him. He's pre-med.

Finland has just 1300 CoVId cases so far: compare that with Germany and Sweden next door. Vodka and a sauna cures almost anything, if you try hard enough.

And don't forget to stick a blow dryer up your nose, too! That was the leading "cure" last week.

How ‘bout gin?

Guaranteed that no Coronavirus can survive on any surface within a sauna but whether the searing heat is enough to cure an already infected human is questionable.

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