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March 23, 2020

NO PANDEMIC CAN STOP FLORIDA MAN

Auburndale Florida Man Arrested During Traffic Stop And Found To Be Naked With String Tied To His Genitals

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

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He'd better hope his sentence isn't to be strung up.

He had put that string there earlier to remind himself to get dressed.

I can understand the string, but couldn't the guy show a little class and use at least a twenty?

Bonus comment: His FL DL has no restriction saying He can not operate a vehicle in the nude. Any good lawyer has used that defense.

The guy looks about 20 years older than his 59 years. Meth - what a drug!

He must have been too high to remember to put on his boxer shorts. His goal for the day was to be able to tell people; "'Scuse me while I whip this out" then pull the string.

Is there a problem, officer?

SNORK! To Le Petomane

Shoddy reporting -- no mention of the perfectly innocent explanation.

I also appreciate his fine detail in that he had meth, joints, and weed -- but no drugs.

I can understand his angst dealing with the global pandemic, but he's obviously confused about managing his exposure and how to tie one on drowning his worries.

When stopped, did he claim to be a "stringer" for the Miami Herald?

I'm pretty sure this is the plot for Speed 3 coming soon to a theater near you which hopefully will still be closed.

It must have been a G-string.

Kudos to the deputy who asked him why he fled instead of asking, say, why he had a string tied to his penis and testicles.

Are police sure it wasn't a ribbon?

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