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March 31, 2020

GUESS THE STATE

A conservative evangelical pastor has suggested to his followers that God will help multiply their toilet rolls amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Update: Pastor of Tampa church that held two large Sunday services arrested, jailed

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Ralph)

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These Florida Holy Rollers will end up contracting covid-19 and get wiped out.

It used to be fishes and loaves. Now it's toilet paper.

Address your prayers to St. Whipple and watch the rolls multiply.

That preacher was on a roll!

So the Governor of Florida actually has a checkpoint at the border of Georgia on I-95 to stop and (apparently) attempt to intimidate New Yorkers driving down to, what? Turn around and drive home? Yet he is NOT closing the beaches, which are a lot more crowded than two people in a car.

The only time the church will close is when the Rapture happens? Because he is not "raising up pansies"?

What about daffodils?

So "Charmin" is the modern English word for "manna"?

The preacher is just plying his trade. Actually 2-plying.

Yes, Wanderer - In the New, New Testament, this miraculous event will be known as the "Wiping of the 5,000"...

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