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March 21, 2020

PRIORITIES II

New York hair and nail salons to shut, but booze deemed 'essential'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BUT DOES IT PICK UP THE POOP?

Drone walks dog for man on coronavirus lockdown in Cyprus

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Suzie Q Wacvet) (as opposed to nursecindy)

PRIORITIES

A man in Italy gets charged for ignoring the coronavirus lockdown to play 'Pokémon Go'

(Thanks to Ralph)

‘DON’T JUST COVER YOUR MOUTH’

D.C. restaurant gives condoms with to-go orders

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE HOPE IT WAS DECAF

Crews clean I-81 after coffee covers lanes following tractor-trailer crash

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “Traffic ground to a halt,” and Allen at Division, who says “We’re gonna need a lot of creamer.”)

Related: Truck spills 40,000 pounds of Gatorade

(Thanks to Steve L, who says “We’re gonna need more athletes.”)

STREET VALUE: $854 TRILLION

The North Carolina truck driver was busted on Wednesday hauling 18,000 pounds of toilet paper in a stolen 18-wheeler trailer 

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w, The Squirrel Whisperer, Rod Nunley, Le Petomane, pharmaross and Steve K)

 
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