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March 05, 2020

WE CANNOT HELP OURSELVES

Scientists Identify Tight Window to Visit Uranus

(Thanks to Dave Stuff)

THEY OPENED FOR THE BYRDS

Notorious crows return to Nampa Walmart

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

AS ANATOMICAL SKELETONS ARE WONT TO DO

A New Mexico woman is facing a larceny charge after authorities say she stole a neighbor’s anatomical skeleton model that allegedly was making an offensive gesture toward her.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHERE WE STAND TODAY

Man tasered by police after toilet paper dispute in Big W store

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Amid coronavirus panic, Australian newspaper prints extra pages because of toilet paper shortage

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THE FUNNEST PLACE ON EARTH

Chuck E. Cheese sued over hair stuck in ticket machine

(Thanks to Ralph)

‘HE INFORMED THEM THAT HE WAS A LAWYER’

Authorities say an Oregon lawyer who refused to pay for a $200 lap dance led police on a foot chase through a blackberry briar and train tunnel near the strip club.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

A helluva town.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Update: OK, apparently that link does not work for everyone, possibly because it goes to Twitter. (Judi will of course be fired as soon as we locate her Secret Hideout.) The link goes to a video of a guy riding a bicycle on a NYC subway track. He is being pursued by (we think) some kind of law-enforcement person. 

Update to the Update: YouTube link here, thanks to Corey Smith.

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

We don’t know where to begin.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

 
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