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February 05, 2020

'YOU UNDERSTAND THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE?'

Ottawa businessman tells incredulous judge he burned $1M cash to keep it from ex-wife

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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Yeah, that'll show her.

I'm reminded of the old Jewish joke about the henpecked husband who finally takes a stand. His wife is showing off to her friends how she has complete control of him.

"Crawl under that table!" she commands.

Without a word, he crawls under the table.

"Now come back out!" she commands.

"I won't, I won't! I'll show you who wears the pants in this family!"

Someone needs to sit down with this dude and explain to him what a Pyrrhic Victory is and what the outcome will be.

I once had a divorce attorney that was seriously overbilling me. When I complained he responded, "But your wife will never get this money."

You know I'm still married to my wife of 35 years and I don't seem to have any money...say.....

An episode of James Caan’s “Las Vegas” was based on exactly that - the burning of cash earmarked for an ex-wife being done via the craps table and full charges for everything. A hole in the divorce settlement allowed him to use joint assets like that before the final decree.

Of course, the player had an angle - rebate of a certain percent of the losses by the casino as an inducement to play at that casino. Not covered by the settlement. Said an admiring Caan “ We’re talking genius here”.

(Can’t think exactly which episode, recalling from memory. Anyone?)

"You're saying you burned the cash."
"Yes, your honor. Burned real clean, too. Not even ashes. Nope, disappeared without a trace. Darndest thing. Boy, I sure am in a fix now."

Alternate version:
Judge: You say you burned $1 million in cash, but according to the records you had $2 million.
Defendant: Yes, I was careful to only burn money from her half.

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