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February 21, 2020

SEND THIS MAN TO WASHINGTON

Man Pulls Out 22 Kg Poop From Constipated Elephant’s Butt

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

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Feed that elephant some Taco Bell. Problem solved.

And you thought your job was bad

This is resume enhancement material.
He can say "I'm a hands on guy"

Bradley, I once knew a guy who periodically had to scuba dive in raw sewage at a wastewater treatment plant.

I'd rather take my chances with the elephant.

Didn't Mike Rowe do this on a Dirty Jobs episode?

Constipated Elephant Butt opened for . . .

Since elephants are herbivores and only have one stomach, unlike ruminants, their poop is very fibrous and not very offensive. Cat or dog poop is much worse. Handling it with gloves is no big deal.

Getting an agitated elephant to allow you to stick your arm up its butt is a very big deal.

I wonder if he was looking for the pony.

True Story:

I was in prison, and didn't want to use the crapper as everyone can watch you, and there are freaks who do watch. So I held it for weeks. I was hardly eating as the food is disgusting so I figured I should be alright.

Weeks later one day they let inmates out to the yard, and I stayed behind, I figured it was my chance to do my business.

I was so clogged up with doody that it was like a pumpkin inside my butt. So I had to reach inside a pull chunks out little by little.

I was flushing every couple seconds, but I'm sure the smell was worse then anyone could imagine. My celly, (the guy I shared my cell with),came back and didn't say anything, but the guy I'm quite sure was not happy with the stench.

Anyway, just thought I would share a fond memory.

When I saw the headline I thought it was a cabinet member describing life in the Trump Whitehouse.......

. . . Crazy Elephant in an all-pachyderm concert.

Sounds like the set up for several Far Side cartoons.

"And here he is - but when I started (stomping) I bet he was this tall."

"The very last thing you see of an annoyed elephant."

"The guy who removed the elephant's poop was a dwarf and also it's trainer. He dressed that elephant in a ballerina costume for a circus act.
There's a rumor going around the circus that dwarf and elephant were lovers...."

--- From a Tim Conway story in a segment of the Carol Burnett show. I don't think there has ever been a funnier elephant story.

22 kilograms, wow, that's like 22,000 decimeters or something. Hectares? Are kilograms related to hectares?

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