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February 06, 2020

LOW-SPEED CHASE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Fitchburg man arrested for stealing steamroller

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says he was "flat-out arrested.")

Comments

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I'll bet he was faster on foot.

Suarez was “continuously yelling ‘(expletive) you I stole that (expletive)’"

Legal Defense Strategy of the Week So Far.


The suspect is reportedly 'de-pressed' over the incident.

This didn't happen in Flathead County?

If he wants to curl his hair, he should buy his own steam rollers.

Technically, this machine should be called a road roller. They haven't been manufactured with steam engines in nearly 100 years, although some actual steamrollers were in use into the 60's.

Apparently this dude liked heavy metal.

Was he headed toward Mannheim?

Was his name Mike Mulligan?

Did James Taylor show up to sing about it?

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