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February 28, 2020

SURELY THERE IS A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

What Were 29 Exotic Snakes Doing in a U.K. Trash Bin?

(Thanks To Susie Q Wacvet)

CSI: YPSILANTI

The victim told officers an acquaintance of his took his shoes off his feet and, instead of handing them back or putting them back on, just walked away with them, police said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

Etch-A-Sketch Unveils New Model That Can Draw Circles

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE... YOGURT-EATERS

Estimated 40,000 lbs of yogurt spilled in I-86 collision

(Thanks to pharmaross)

‘EPIC’ IS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE IT

'It’s an epic prank': Fake Wienermobile ad goes viral in Calgary

(Thanks to Roberto)

GUESS THE CONTINENT

Venomous snake found hiding behind family's toaster

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says "becoming tedious.")

HAR

Marijuana in bra leads to bigger bust

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FATHER'S DAY IS COMING

You know Dad wants one.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and Ralph)

OK, THEN

Pink unicorn caught on video snow blowing South Lyon driveway

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and Geoff Scott, who says "How to tell Michigan winters are too long...or you are downwind from a Marijuana facility.")

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Disney World Jungle Cruise Boat Sinks with Passengers on Board in Mid-Ride Mishap

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Rick Day, Sharon Chapman, Dave N. and pharmaross)

FIENDISH

Police allege the man walked up to the counter, placed a rubber chicken over the donation box and then left the business with both.

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

MARK YOUR CALENDARS

Banana throwing man warned not to do it again for six months

(Thanks to Ralph)

THE COMPLETE PACKAGE

A Florida man who repeatedly showed guests at an IHOP condoms as he tried to get them to look at his genitals stole doughnuts hours after he was released from jail, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OHIO: STATE OF DIVERSITY

Sex with animals is illegal in Ohio — except for these 8 counties

(Thanks to Joeage)

ASIAN CUISINE REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Asian Cuisine Report.

(Thanks to Bruce McIntyre)

UPDATE

LAPD Pursuit With Stolen Hearse Ends In Wreck On South LA Freeway; Casket, Body Found Inside

(Thanks to John Criswell and pharmaross)

YES

Air New Zealand to test out bunk beds in economy class

(Thanks to The Perts)

NO WOMAN CAN RESIST

Woman Gives Her Number To A Guy On Tinder, Gets Pleasantly Surprised When He Starts Sending Her Photos Of His Rocks

(Thanks to John Lobert)

EVERY PARENT CAN RELATE

Mum does the school run and realises she left her children at home

(Thanks to John Lobert)

GUESS THE STATE

Man Arrested For Cow Manure Battery

(Thanks to David Zeppieri, John Criswell, Barry Nester, Mark Schlesinger, pharmaross, Al Barkafski and Roberto)

To clarify: He allegedly committed the battery with the cow manure, not on it.

 
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