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February 27, 2020

‘MONTY PYTHON’

Pet snake swallows an entire beach towel

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

EW

Seriously, ew.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says “Now with added protein!”)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY FUNERAL

Hearse with body inside stolen from Southern California church

(Thanks to The Perts)

THE GOLDEN YEARS, DUDE

Marijuana use among older Americans up 75% in 4 years

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE’D OBJECT, BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH WORK

Study: Miami & Hialeah Ranked As Two of Country’s Least Hardest-Working Cities

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

4:15 p.m. A Kalispell woman was sitting on a park bench watching her kids play while drinking a beer out of an Arby’s cup

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the squirrels are attacking law enforcement with turkeys.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

IF THEY DO, WE’RE DOOMED

Do farts spread novel coronavirus?

(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS THE STATE

A man had been seen driving a blue Jaguar recklessly while he had a needle in his arm.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Related Incident, Incredibly NOT in Florida: Officers observed the woman driving along the Hume Fwy, allegedly steering with her knees while holding a plate in one hand and a fork in the other.

(Thanks to Fabian Matson, who says “In Florida, she would be a driving instructor.”)

 
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