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February 25, 2020

FLORIDA WILDLIFE UPDATE

“We have an owl decoy as a bird of prey sitting on the edge of the pool. The ducks seem to have adopted him so we now have a floating alligator head. Hopefully this will make them nervous and motivate them to find another home. Please keep the alligator head in the pool so we can see if it is effective.”

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

WE’LL HAVE WHAT SHE’S HAVING

Doctors Report The First Known Case of a Person Who Urinates Alcohol

(Thanks to Phil McAvity)

IT MUST BE TRUE, BECAUSE IT’S ON THE INTERNET

A number of online websites suggest a frozen French fry-sized piece of potato inserted internally for 30 seconds is just the ticket for pile sufferers.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

A topless 23-year-old woman was driving on U.S. 1 while participating in sex acts with her boyfriend before getting in a crash.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOMEHOW THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN FLORIDA

The site of the crash was, in fact, inside the Kwik Trip’s car wash.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

A male baboon on his way to a vasectomy managed to escape his transport with his two female companions and run amok on the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital campus on Tuesday afternoon.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

BUT ONLY IF THERE’S A MAN IN THE POOL

Child protection official slammed for saying women can get pregnant from swimming

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AS RECOMMENDED BY THE AMA

Florida man sets hospital bed on fire to get nurse’s attention, police say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS

Swarm of 40,000 bees attacks police, firefighters in California, officials say

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

How do they know how many bees there were? Did somebody count them?

TIME FOR TELEVISED CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS

Grand jury indicts flute repair shop owner for serial theft

(Thanks to Ben Cunningham)

 
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