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January 29, 2020


Experts Conclude Husbands Are All Taking Way Too Long to Poop

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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Mathematicians don't take as long.

Nobody talks to you in the bathroom.

There are only two places on earth where someone can do whatever they want: on stage and in the bathroom.

Men just take advantage of the latter.

Hey experts, mind your own business.

It's the 'reading room' after all (or texting or . . .).

The bathroom is the original "man-cave". At least when the women aren't hogging it.

Time is relative. In Einstein's theory of relativity, time dilation describes a difference of elapsed time between two events, as measured by observers that are either moving relative to each other, or differently, depending on their proximity to a gravitational mass. In this case gravitational mass is my poop.

Obviously when I poop my time is moving differently then people who are not pooping. Basically my poops are a sort of time machine, that only travels into the future. I go into the bathroom and come out for me in about 31/2 min. But when I come out the rest of the world has aged 3 hours extra.

If you don't like it blame Einstein.

These "experts" should have realized that their study was just another load of crap.

Well-put, Zeppo. That theory would correlate with Dave's famous article about his colonoscopy, wherein he says the Movi-Prep made him expel food he hadn't even EATEN yet. Poop time is relative.

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