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January 15, 2020

WE DIDN’T NEED NEW EVIDENCE

Compelling new evidence that your cat might eat your corpse

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and wiredog)

Related: Cats Are Making Australia's Bushfire Tragedy Even Worse

(Thanks to John W)

And Yet: Japan Releases a Range of Miniature Furniture for Cats

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Comments

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I asked my cat Maggie if she would ever eat me and she gave me a very emphatic no. However, I'm pretty sure she had a bottle of A-1 Sauce behind her back. She also said she'd like the little sofa in blue.

Might?
More like a sure thing

My cat has nipped me a couple of times. Now I'm worried this might have been a taste test.

My cat doesn't need miniature furniture to destroy. He does just fine with the full-size pieces.

Your cat already owns all your furniture. He might be willing to let you own the little stuff, tho.

My will would specify that in the event of my death, the cat would become the property of the toilet snake.

I only got a couple paragraphs in and had to stop because I'm eating lunch here.

If you are about to eat dinner, I advise skipping this.

"might" -- oh, please. Cats were never allowed in my grandmother's house because of an experience she went through as a young person (when people got "snowed in" out in the country). It was routine in those days to go around in the spring and find out who had survived.

The cats had survived, and were remarkably well-fed...

Prairie Cynic--I believe a somewhat different version of "How to survive when snowed in" was also used by the Donner Party. This method seems to work for most people, especially skinny ones.

Lord help us if the cats and squirrels ever set aside their differences and join forces.

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