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January 12, 2020


Woman claims she predicted Harry and Meghan Markle splitting from royal family by reading asparagus spears

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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I'm pretty sure she reads only pickled asparagus spears.

@Le Pet - Or she reads the asparagus spears while pickled?

She's making herself a laughing stalk.

I'd rather do this than actually eat the asparagus.

Are her mystical powers limited to asparagus or can she do things with say...
a kumquat?

Hey Meghan, I know you are reading this at you unknown location bunker - one word of advice - avoid travelling through tunnels.

klezmerphan- I believe you are right. She drinks the pickling juice before reading the spears. That would be the only thing about this that would make any sense.

I thought the only prediction you could make with asparagus was that your bodily fluids would smell especially bad.

One of my favorite songs, Fortune Teller.

Went to the fortune teller
Had my fortune read
I didn't know what to tell her
I had a dizzy feeling in my head
When she took a look at my palm
She said son are you feeling kinda warm?
And she looked into her crystal ball
And said you're in love
I said I could not be so
I'm not passionate with the girls I know
She said when the next one arrives
You'll be looking into her eyes
I left there in a hurry
Looking forward to my big surprise
The next day I discovered
That the fortune teller told me lies
I hurried back down to that woman
As mad as I could be
I told her I didn't see nobody
Why'd she made a fool out of me
Then something struck me
As if it came from up above
While looking at the fortune teller
I fell in love
Now I'm a happy fellow
Well, I am married to the fortune teller
Well happy as me can be
Now I get my fortune told for free
Now I'm a happy fellow
Well, I am married to the fortune teller
Well happy as me can be
And now I get my fortune told for free

The only thing we have to fear is spear itself.

Shoddy reporting: with or without Hollandaise sauce?

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