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January 29, 2020

SUPER BOWL UPDATE

Here's my detailed technical analysis of the Super Bowl teams. Apparently there are two of them.

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...an old friend of mine who is (a) an excellent sportswriter and (b) a woman...

Mrs. Blog?

Yes, the use of "electrolytes" and "antioxidents" in those dumb@ss commercials always impress me, much like the use of "parabens" in that shampoo ad that has been running nearly as often as Mike Bloomberg's commercials.

Anyone know: what is a paraben?

This would be a great venue to bring a comfort hybrid Burmese python and Indian rock python, if only to distract caterers.

@Jeff - According to Wikipedia “ they are a series of parahydroxybenzoates or esters of parahydroxybenzoic acid”. So now you know.

Jimmy Garoppolo has nothing on you Dave. Except for the fact he looks like someone Michelangelo, if he were still alive, would grab so he could replicate his image in a large slab of marble. Other than that he's just like all of you blog guys here. He puts his pants on one leg at a time and I'd love to watch him do this so he's a mere mortal.

Calm down, Cindy. No drooling on the blog.

My son was a Grade-schooler and had a couple of his friends over. So, I made hot dogs for them despite the fact they crashed the computer by purposely infecting it what the scan described as "you have 3,462,317 instances of spyware and viruses" just before it permanently froze. So I tell the less evil looking one, "Here are some hot dogs," and sit a plate in front of him. He says, "I don't eat hot dogs with bread, I use buns." I explained I didn't have any buns and made the mistake of laughing at him and called him an idiot. No, I laughed, but didn't call him an idiot despite him infecting my computer with 3,462,317 instances of spyware and virus. He promptly cried. He called him mom, walked out into the middle of the street and sat there in the middle of the street waiting for her to pick him up. Too bad we live on a cul-de-sac with very little traffic.

Great article but needed to cover the more important parts of the superbowl. The commercials.

My expert Super Bowl analysis:

1. Pat Mahomes will shred the vaunted San Francisco defense.

2. Jimmy Garoppalo will shred the not-so-vaunted Kansas City defense.

3. One of them will do this last.

4. His team will win.

5. 99% of viewers will not see this thrilling ending, as they'll be passed out due to:

a. Excessive consumption of food before halftime.

b. Excessive consumption of alcohol before halftime.

c. Excessive consumption of the halftime show (note that ANY such consumption is excessive).

Therefore, the only people who actually will witness the game's end will be those who watched the far-more-entertaining-than-the-halftime-show Puppy Bowl.


Andy Griffith football:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNxLxTZHKM8

Rod, I agree that any consumption of the halftime show is excessive. The ONLY musical group that should ever be on a football field is a marching band.

Jeff--The Flathead County Abridged dictionary describes paraben as "Two Guys named Ben standing together."

Always watch the Super Bowl but skip half time and switch to National Geographic's Moths of Madagascar. So I missed the famous Wardrobe Malfunction. Any chance of a similar occurrence this year?

Too bad -- all I get is the Herald advertising flark. Maybe Dave can post it at a later date for those of us outside the greater Miami area, please?

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