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January 26, 2020

SOUNDS TOTALLY LEGIT

At the police station, Dube said he was smoking a cigarette alone outside of a Radcliffe Street residence and had his pants down, but he did not expose himself, police wrote in court papers. A few minutes later, he recalled applying lotion to his groin area while along Radcliffe Street on January 12 as a woman walked past. He blamed the need for lotion on the fact his testicles were raw, police said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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There never was a more obvious case of free speech.

May as well just lube the Constitution.

"So why were they raw... you know, on second thought I think I'll let you exercise your right to silence on that one."

I'm sure that story will amuse and impress his cellmate.

Send him to Umuhuia. That’ll learn him.

Does he prefer his testicles fried, baked or roasted? I’m sure his future fellow residents can accommodate him.

This dude needs to be careful of mentioning raw testicles.
There was a man who liked to go to bullfights in Mexico. One day after the bullfight he went to a restaurant when a mariachi band came out with the waiter carrying a plate of enchiladas covered with huge slices of fried bull testicles, considered a delicacy in many places.
The waiter told him that after a bullfight, one patron could buy this dish, but it was costly.
The man agreed to the price and made reservations for the next bullfight. This time the enchiladas came out covered with two sliced testicles the size of walnuts. The man complained and the waiter said, "Senior, the bull does not always lose."

That paragraph was a rejected Joe Friday voiceover from Dragnet.

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