« December 2019 | Main

January 17, 2020

GUYS IN ACTION

Man hijacks Portland airport monitor to play video games

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE CANNOT BELIEVE THIS DID NOT WIN AN OSCAR

The VelociPastor

(Thanks to Roberto)

TIME FOR NATIONWIDE STREET PROTESTS

Pornhub sued by deaf man over adult video site's alleged lack of subtitles

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert, Kevin Smith Doug Ogg) 

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Woman Allegedly Laces Husband’s Beer with Laxatives to Make Him Quit Drinking

(Thanks to Carlos Cortez)

DON’T GO BAREFOOT

A bar made out of 1 million legos will come to Orlando in March

(Thanks to Ron T)

AS IF THE SQUIRRELS WEREN’T BAD ENOUGH

The Provo Police Department is warning everyone… stay away from “zombie raccoons.”

(Thanks to Ralph)

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Bloodthirsty Squirrel Leaves 2 Hospitalized, Neighbors Hiding Out During Daytime

(Thanks to many people)

SOMEBODY IS SO GROUNDED

Son crashes his father's $75G Mustang Shelby GT350 ... while starting it in the garage

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

January 16, 2020

DO THESE PEOPLE NOT WATCH MOVIES?

Scientists Create Living Concrete

(Thanks to Steve K)

SEND THIS MAN TO WASHINGTON

Duterte to visit towns devastated by Taal, says he’ll eat toxic ash and ‘pee’ on the volcano

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Rod Nunley)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

A Florida woman who fed vultures, alligators and other wildlife behind her gated-community home has agreed to pay $53,000 to settle a lawsuit brought by homeowners association.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

WE MIGHT AS WELL SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

A Florida woman who fed vultures, alligators and other wildlife behind her gated-community home has agreed to pay $53,000 to settle a lawsuit brought by homeowners association.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

WHOEVER DID THIS STUDY APPARENTLY IS UNFAMILIAR WITH THE PROSTATE

You're likely to be most miserable at age 47, study suggests

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHEN THIS BLOG SAYS DO NOT MESS WITH WOMEN

This blog is not kidding.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHY DON’T WE DO IT IN THE ROAD

Transport trucks collide, dump toilet paper on Highway 401

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “Watch out for the skid marks!”)

WE DOUBT THAT EVERYBODY WAS ‘CONFUSED’

Naked woman at Miami Airport performs striptease in front of confused passengers

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

This blog is in that airport all the time. But, tragically, not this time.

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

Man with cocaine in hat says drugs not his

Guess the state.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE SAW V.A.O.P. OPEN FOR WHITESNAKE

Travelers on the Mexico City subway system often blame authorities for broken-down escalators at subway stops, but Metro officials have another explanation: vast amounts of pee.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg, Jeff Meyerson and pharmaross)

HOW IS THAT WORSE THAN KALE?

Expert reveals how mushrooms and seaweed could save humanity after Armageddon because they are the only crops that will survive

(Thanks to Roberto)

CANADA DESCENDS FURTHER INTO ANARCHY

“The snow throwing escalated to an exchange of punches between the males,” he said.

“The 38-year-old female yelled obscenities and threw a shovel full of snow at her 41-year-old female neighbour,” he said.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Related: Campus-wide snowball fight at UBC postponed due to snow

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE WILL BE A PETTING ZOO. REALLY.

What you need to know about the Texas Testicle Festival coming to Fredericksburg 

(Thanks to Greg Snow)

THE HAMSTER PLAYLIST IS ALL METALLICA

Spotify now has playlists for your dog, your cat and even your hamster

(Thanks to Steve K., Michael Parry, Doug Ogg and pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

Florida man facing DUI arrest offers deputies free MMA classes if they let him go, report says

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

‘MISCHIEVOUS’ IS NOT THE WORD WE WOULD USE

Mischievous squirrel rings Canadian couple's doorbell

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

NO THEY’RE NOT

People are redecorating Christmas trees for Valentine's Day so they can keep them up

(Thanks to John Lobert)

HEADED FOR FLORIDA AT 6 MPH WITH HIS TURN SIGNAL BLINKING

86-year-old man who robbed a bank is pulled over 1 mile away, South Carolina cops say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

January 15, 2020

WE DIDN’T NEED NEW EVIDENCE

Compelling new evidence that your cat might eat your corpse

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and wiredog)

Related: Cats Are Making Australia's Bushfire Tragedy Even Worse

(Thanks to John W)

And Yet: Japan Releases a Range of Miniature Furniture for Cats

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

WE CAN’T WAIT

Organic Burial Pods Turn Bodies Into Trees

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

NAMES IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you Names in International News.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT OUR MOUTH

These five of our favorite squirrel recipes are guaranteed to get your mouth watering.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Related: Aggressive squirrels terrorizing Tampa Bay family in their condo

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAA

Tampa woman tried to build explosive device inside Walmart, deputies say

(Thanks to James Flynn and Le Petomane, who says “Walmart really does have one stop shopping.”)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Terrified residents flee homes as crazed gang of 400 monkeys raid village

(Thanks to Chris Elzi and Barry Nester, who asks “Who put them up to it?”)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

You can now buy Megxit merchandise inspired by Meghan Markle and Prince Harry quitting

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SENSIBLE

A Florida couple's violent argument over The Kelly Clarkson Show has resulted in a judge ordering them to avoid further contact with one another.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:25 p.m. A Columbia Falls man called 911 because his ex-wife stole his bong.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and Craig Roberts)

MEN:

Do NOT, repeat NOT, click here.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

GUYS IN ACTION

Komodo dragon tore apart BBC cameras after trying to have sex with the equipment during Spy in the Wild II filming

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Barry Nester)

I’LL ALLOW IT

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies.

(Thanks to Michael Parry, Barry Nester, Fabian Marson, pharmaross, Doug Ogg and Ralph)

January 14, 2020

A LOVELY KEEPSAKE FOR THE TRUE FAN

Thai Café Shuts Down After Owner Tries To Sell Toilet Seat Used By BLACKPINK's Lisa

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

A man was caught smuggling 200 venomous scorpions in his checked bags

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

DO YOU HAVE TO BRING A DOG?

Michigan's first indoor dog park to open this summer, serve beer and wine

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

GUYS IN ACTION

This is a video of Youtuber Nick Uhas constructing and launching a giant paper airplane (actually made of insulating foam board) off the top of a mountain.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

MODERN HOMEOWNER PROBLEMS

Airbnb offers counselling after Dunedin home was used as a brothel for two weeks

The owner described menacing figures returning to his house after he returned asking if the women were still around and acting aggressively.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

January 13, 2020

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Uncle, nephew, arrested while loading 120kg of marijuana into tuk-tuk in Phuket Town

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Reefer madness with a Phuket tuk-tuk!")

In other Phuket news: 60 gamblers arrested at Phuket cockfight

AGAIN, WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

At-Home Sperm Testing with Your Smartphone

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN THE ONGOING WORLDWIDE EPIDEMIC OF TOILET-SNAKE ATTACKS

Massive Snake Bites, Latches Onto Woman After Slithering Out Of Toilet

(Thanks to Rick Day)

'COMFORT'

Igloo Airbnb listing offers chance to experience winter from comfort of Calgary backyard

(Thanks to The Perts)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Girl's eyelashes ripped out after double-ended dildo hits her at Bongo's Bingo

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, John Lobert and pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

A man spent three days in hospital with an agonising erection after taking viagra designed for bulls.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER

Slugs sabotage Wrexham traffic lights

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise