BOLO

What could have degenerated into ethnic and religious crisis was averted in Umuahia, the Abia State capital as a tiger-nut customer raises alarm over the sudden disappearance of his male genitalia.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Comments

[Clankie]

Evidently the local pick pockets are stepping up their game.

[man tom]

Have you experienced the sudden disappearance of your male genitalia?

Time is shriveling away. Call us today.

[ImNotDave]

WHAT?
HOW?
WHY?????

[655321]

Ummmm OK?

Is the male genitalia "missing" if you've "hidden" it? As in "hide the salami"? Just asking for a friend.

[Seeker]

It is all done by witchcraft. From a1467 manual on the subject.

http://www.malleusmaleficarum.org/part-ii-question-i-chapter-vii/

Sample:

“And what, then, is to be thought of those witches who in this way sometimes collect male organs in great numbers, as many as twenty or thirty members together, and put them in a bird’s nest, or shut them up in a box, where they move themselves like living members, and eat oats and corn, as has been seen by many and is a matter of common report? It is to be said that it is all done by devil’s work and illusion, for the senses of those who see them are deluded in the way we have said. For a certain man tells that, when he had lost his member, he approached a known witch to ask her to restore it to him. She told the afflicted man to climb a certain tree, and that he might take which he liked out of the nest in which there were several members. And when he tried to take a big one, the witch said: You must not take that one; adding, because it belongs to a parish priest.“

Who can doubt it?

[klezmerphan]

He was in the pool!

[OldPhil]

Never mind the bollocks.

[NurseBernie]

Umuahia is in Flathead County, right?

[ImNotDave]

@- Seeker -
The Malleus Maleficarum
(The Hammer of Witches)
The original version of "Witchcraft for Dummies"