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January 15, 2020

WE DIDN’T NEED NEW EVIDENCE

Compelling new evidence that your cat might eat your corpse

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and wiredog)

Related: Cats Are Making Australia's Bushfire Tragedy Even Worse

(Thanks to John W)

And Yet: Japan Releases a Range of Miniature Furniture for Cats

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

WE CAN’T WAIT

Organic Burial Pods Turn Bodies Into Trees

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

NAMES IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you Names in International News.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NOT OUR MOUTH

These five of our favorite squirrel recipes are guaranteed to get your mouth watering.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Related: Aggressive squirrels terrorizing Tampa Bay family in their condo

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAA

Tampa woman tried to build explosive device inside Walmart, deputies say

(Thanks to James Flynn and Le Petomane, who says “Walmart really does have one stop shopping.”)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Terrified residents flee homes as crazed gang of 400 monkeys raid village

(Thanks to Chris Elzi and Barry Nester, who asks “Who put them up to it?”)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

You can now buy Megxit merchandise inspired by Meghan Markle and Prince Harry quitting

(Thanks to John Lobert)

SENSIBLE

A Florida couple's violent argument over The Kelly Clarkson Show has resulted in a judge ordering them to avoid further contact with one another.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:25 p.m. A Columbia Falls man called 911 because his ex-wife stole his bong.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and Craig Roberts)

MEN:

Do NOT, repeat NOT, click here.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

GUYS IN ACTION

Komodo dragon tore apart BBC cameras after trying to have sex with the equipment during Spy in the Wild II filming

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Barry Nester)

I’LL ALLOW IT

A Kansas man has asked an Iowa judge to let him engage in a sword fight with his ex-wife and her attorney so that he can “rend their souls” from their bodies.

(Thanks to Michael Parry, Barry Nester, Fabian Marson, pharmaross, Doug Ogg and Ralph)

 
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