« November 2019 | Main

December 15, 2019

BUILDING CHARACTER

A New York high school soccer coach has come under fire for taking his team to Hooters.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'SHOULD'VE STOLEN A BELT'

Bumbling thief loses his pants 

(Thanks to John Lobert)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY SERVICE

Wild chaos turned to applause inside a Pasadena church Thursday evening as a police chase disrupted a Christmas service before the suspect was hit with a music stand and tackled by officers.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Stolen car had homemade license plate written in crayon

(Thanks to Hayseed Tom and pharmaross)

WHAT'S THAT MUSTY SMELL?

141-year-old fruitcake is a Michigan family's heirloom

(Thanks to pharmaross)

December 14, 2019

WAIT, WHAT?

NJ construction head stole millions from firms, bought donkeys with cash

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MAYBE IT WAS A (HAR!) BALLOON PAYMENT

KTVT-TV reports that when Dallas resident Ruth Balloon checked her bank account earlier this week, it had some extra money in it: an extra $37 million to be exact.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

Dirt Biker Rides Over Bridge Arch Instead Of Bridge

(Thanks to John Lobert)

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

Mall Santas in Russia get into fight in front of kids, allegedly over 'mafia-style territorial dispute'

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

NOOOOO

The state agency charged with distributing and selling alcohol in Utah has disposed of thousands of gallons of drinkable beer worth almost $18,000.

(Thanks to pharmaross, Matt Filar, EricY and Bill Hudgins, who says "It was too weak to defend itself.")

WHEW

Horse manure still OK on Texas city’s beaches

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE ON WHATEVER PLANET GQ INHABITS

Why the Codpiece Remains One of Menswear’s Most Essential Accessories

(Thanks to Roberto and John Gregg)

HO HO HOLY CRAP IS THIS STUFF BAD

It's time for the annual Holiday Gift Guide.

December 13, 2019

WE CANNOT WAIT FOR THE TROPICAL SMOOTHIE CAFE FRISCO BOWL

Ranking college football's 40 bowl games

(Thanks to Mr. Joel Achenbach)

PRESUMABLY HE WORE A SKI MASK UNDER HIS PANTS

Man puts underwear on head to rob Moberly convenience store

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOUNDS LIKE... FUN?

The Kensington Community Children's Co-operative has reportedly ditched Santa for its end of year party, dubbed a 'Celebration Picnic', and instead opted to bring in a 'Sustainability Pirate' for all the kids and their parents.

Key Parental Quote: "If anyone has any clues about the sustainability pirate and what drugs they were taking when they came up with that, I would like to know."

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE AGENDA SAID 'LUNCH WITH CULTURAL PRESENTATION'

The director of King County’s coordinating agency for homelessness is on paid leave following a dancer’s strip show at the agency’s annual conference on Monday.

(Thanks to Roberto)

IN WASHINGTON, WOULD ANYONE EVEN NOTICE?

Georgian parliament's meeting disrupted amid smell of faeces

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE'RE WITH THE BARS AND CLUBS

Man claims he's not allowed in bars and clubs 'because of his mullet'

(Thanks to Roberto)

ART UPDDATE

Dearborn's Arab American National Museum displays shawarma taped to wall

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:57 p.m. A dog was sitting in the middle of the road.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS THE CONTINENT WHERE THIS HAPPENED

Woman finds 10-foot python in her Christmas tree

(Thanks to The Fourth George)

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS AT WORK

The perfect crime.

(Thanks to Roberto)

AND IT WORKED

Colorado Man Shows Up For Jury Selection In Pink Bunny Suit

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

THE FUN NEVER STOPS

Get ready for a nightmarish ‘longer’ version of Monopoly

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "I'd rather be waterboarded.")

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG, DUDE?

ELON Musk's Space X will be sending cannabis to the astronauts on the International Space Station (ISS).

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Rod Nunley)

THEY WERE BOTH AWARDED FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

The mother of all disguises: Son, 43, is caught dressing up as his 60-year-old mum so he could pass her driving test for her in Brazil

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THE APOCALYPSE: IT'S DEFINITELY HERE

Thousands of ‘penis fish’ wash onto California beach

(Thanks to Roberto, Linda Schutjer, PirateBoy, Unholy Slacker, John Lobert, Janice Gelb, phamraross, Jay Brandes, Doug Ogg, Le Petomane, Dick [Har!] Lobo and Emily, Leslie and w)

December 12, 2019

BUT THAT'S THE SURPRISE

Parents outraged at unwrapping LOL Surprise male dolls to find they have genitals

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Full university scholarships offered to video gamers in Pennsylvania

(Thanks to The Perts)

'WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS'

Woman’s naughty Christmas light display turns off neighbors

(Thanks to pharmaross and Bill Hudgins)

BECAUSE WE, AS A NATION, DO NOT GET ENOUGH SUGAR

Hershey's Kisses cereal hitting store shelves in January

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Alert the Nobel committee.")

THE PERFECT STORM

Florida Man vs. Chuck E. Cheese

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

NICE JOB, PEST CONTROLLERS

Pest controllers in New York accidentally create new breed of 'super rat'

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger, Le Petomane and Chris Elzi)

THEY RESPECT NOTHING

Squirrel steals package from front porch of Los Angeles home

(Thanks to many people)

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU HAVE OUR GRATITUDE

The employee of a Las Cruces Subway sandwich shop said she allegedly robbed the place to teach other employees a lesson, according to police.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

BECAUSE WHO WANTS COLD BEAR SPRAY?

Firefighters responding to a reported explosion at a Montana home said it turned out a can of bear spray had been left inside a warming oven.

(Thanks to Ralph)

December 11, 2019

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:22 p.m. A man was just sitting in his vehicle not doing anything.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

BUT THEY ALL HAVE DRIVERS' LICENSES, SO THEY COULD WIND UP IN TRAFFIC

A shark-tracking app showed 6 great whites off Florida's coast.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TAKE A STAND

At 12:45 a.m. Monday, deputies encountered a parked SUV and two men who admitted getting into a fistfight over the TV show “How I Met Your Mother,” according to the criminal complaint.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE SHE IS, DUDE

Canada's Miss Universe Contestant Dons Marijuana Outfit

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT...

Best man on drunken rampage punches bride and drags her downstairs at brother's wedding

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

GUESS THE STATE

Highly realistic flasher costume could cost school administrator her lucrative job

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS

Dead ducks set Juneau family’s house on fire

(Thanks to B'game)

'HE SEEMED VERY CONFIDENT'

A woman has been left with a rather unfortunate hairstyle after allowing her boyfriend to help trim her fringe

(Thanks to John Lobert)

EW

Just, ew.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LOOK OUT, BOISE

Rupert to drop giant sugar beet to ring in new year

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

GUYS IN ACTION

Guy Builds A VHS ‘Store’ In His Basement

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

HO HO HO

Die Hard On Ice

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Students evacuated from Manatee County school bus after someone sprayed too much Axe body spray

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert, Al Barkafski, pharmaross and Ralph)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise