Dave Barry's Blog

HANDS-ON

A University of Miami professor who studies organized crime and drug cartels was accused Monday of engaging in a plot to launder millions in dirty money from Venezuela.

ATTENTION, MIAMI-AREA PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE FINE MUSIC:

This does not concern you.

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Kentucky women accused of stealing two guinea pigs and tossing one during escape ratted out by one of their moms

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

'BE PREPARED FOR LONG LINES'

A giant brown inflatable poo emoji attracted dozens of people to Pioneer Square this weekend.

(Thanks to B'game)

TEN YEARS?

Forty-pound python crashes through a spa parlour's ceiling after 'hiding above the plasterboard for 10 YEARS'

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

ANYBODY SEEN CHARLIE SHEEN LATELY?

Hunter captures strange howl in northern Ontario woods

(Thanks to The Perts)

SO WHAT WOULD WHALE POOP BE WORTH?

Garbage Collector Finds Whale Vomit Worth Over $100,000

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Penn State Fans Go Wild After Condom Balloon Lands in End Zone

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THERE'S PROBABLY A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

A MAN with a fetish of stealing women's lingerie was busted with more than 1,000 items stashed at his home while wearing his a pair of stolen panties.

(Thanks to pharmaross)