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November 05, 2019

APPARENTLY SHE FOUND OUT I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT

Melania

THANK GOODNESS WE HAVE SAFETY EXPERTS

A shocking viral video of a man launching a firework from his friend’s backside has been condemned by safety experts.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg and Emily, Leslie and w)

HE'S GONNA NEED MORE BACON

Man accidentally buys 1000 hens from online auction

(Thanks to John W. and pharmaross)

Vaguely Related: 'Emotional support rooster' ruffling feathers in Florida neighborhood

(Thanks to pharmaross)

UH-OH

ONE MILLION CANNIBAL ANTS TRAPPED IN SOVIET NUCLEAR BUNKER HAVE ESCAPED

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Ralph)

WELL THIS IS DISTURBING

I bought a 22 pound turkey and wanted to see if it would be big enough for the number of folks who would be at Thanksgiving. Imagine my surprise when the first suggested word to finish by search for “edible meat on 22 pound…” was BABY. Just tried it again and got the same results.

-- Linda Schutjer

Google baby

OTHERWISE YOU HAVE ANARCHY

Michigan mom faces jail time after returning library books two years late

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "At a law firm library, we had a sharp decline in overdue fines that we incurred when we held the attorneys responsible for the fines and stopped billing clients for the $.50 per day. I can see the library's perspective, but Where the Sidewalk Ends isn't worth three months in jail.")

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Around 40,000 followers tune in to watch her enjoying food ranging from Greggs to Pizza Hut.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THAT'S A LOT OF KUNG PAO

Firefighters rescue 30 stone pig from flat where it ate Chinese takeaways

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says: "I saw 30 Stone Pig in concert when I was in college. I think.")

 
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