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October 07, 2019

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

The New AI Toilets Will Scan Your Poop To Diagnose Your Ailments

(Thanks to Kevin Meerschaert)

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2020: Space Odyssey
Bill: Man, after that space walk, I really need to visit the cr@pper ..
Hal-II, the AI toilet: I'm afraid .. just .. afraid

It also scans the perimeter in search of Klingons, Captain.

"Scan complete. You are officially a s#%#head."

After the first episode, I'd ask the AI pot if it understood the term "out of order".

"The report from your toilet just came in. It says you are anal retentive and recommends Valium and a laxative."

Scanning . . .
Scanning . . .
Finished scan,
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!
EXTERMINATE!

No wonder Skynet loosed the missiles.

Now I have to worry about the Russians hacking my toilet.

Le Pet, it would never recommend that. After all, if you took a laxative, you'd spend all your time crapping on it.

There is a "Trump on Twitter" joke here but we'll leave it alone.

Not any worse than new parents proudly showing off their toddler's Exhibit 2 to the rest of the family.

There is going to be a huge backlash from the physician community once they are fed up with receiving dozens of e-mail messages every day from the toilets of their patients. That the e-mail contains test results is not a problem. Its the high-resolution color photo that pushes them over the edge.

Or, maybe this will be a non-issue because smart doctors will just have their nurse screen all incoming messages from toilets.

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