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September 13, 2019

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PERMIT US TO GIVE YOU A RIDE

An Armstrong County man suspected of driving under the influence Wednesday in New Kensington told police he tried to run away because he was wanted on a warrant, but was “too fat” to get away.

(Thanks to D.E.)

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Lends truth to old adage, you can't run and you will never hide.

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Wormer

It's too bad he didn't have access to a Walmart scooter.

nursecindy is right. That fat dude needed a power scooter because he wasn't going to get far on foot.

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