'I CAN'T HELP THE WAY I'M MADE'

Man accused of shoplifting but suspicious bulge in his trousers was just his 10in penis

He certainly seems upset about attracting all this attention.

(Thanks to many, many people)

Comments

[Clankie]

That's a strange place for a tiny pianist.

[Le Petomane]

I wonder how much Steve paid the manager to garner him some humongous bragging rights?

[pharmaross]

https://youtu.be/gweUVWUYYQ8

[ern ramos]

People joke but guys have serious problem getting usage from their over-sized equipment.

[nursecindy]

I'm trying to figure out a nice way to mention that I once had a patient who could put his up to his shoulder. He told me, and the other 32 female nurses who wanted to see it, that it was more of a burden than a blessing.

[I'm REALLY not owning THIS comment]

I just wonder, was the ruler necessary as a visual aid? I mean, it just looks... well,... juvinile. I think most adults can make an estimation of ten inches without the guy's girlfriend playing Math Teacher. Maybe they should have said 25cm. Then, 25cm todger jusn't just, er, roll off the tongue like 10 inch todger does, alliterally speaking. (No pun intended. I'm going to go scrub myself with bleach now.)

[pharmaross]

WARNING: NSFW

Impressive but he's got competition:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/756719/World-s-biggest-penis-half-metre-Roberto-Cabrera-disabled-pillow

[Name withheld to protect the guilty]

Dear "I'm REALLY not owning THIS comment"

Yea, I'd be embarrassed by misspelling "juvenile" too.

[pharmaross]

Old but relevant:

https://nypost.com/2017/10/26/man-enjoys-life-after-losing-3-foot-long-penis/

[Bilwick]

Word of the Day: "todger."

[Jeff Meyerson]

I saw The Ten Inch Todgers open for Kiss.

[I'm not owning this comment]

@Name withheld to protect the guilty

Not my comment. Must've been an imposter.

Nonetheless, well spotted. I, um, I mean, they, were likely more worried about "jusn't", but that's what happens when one accidentally pushes Post before Preview.

C'est la vie!

[I'm not owning this comment]

@Jeff Meyerson, That is too believable not to be funny!

[Le Petomane]

"See, the problem is a man has a penis and a brain. But only enough blood flow to operate one at a time."

----Robin Williams

[Flathead County Frank]

A guy here claims to be well endowed. One person asked him if his penis burned after sex. He said he'd never tried lighting it.

[Clankie]

So the cops are carrying tape measures now...?

[Theresa]

Ha ha ha ha

[pharmaross]

NSFW

Here's how a woman at a Mexican Walmart reacted when she too was falsely accused of shoplifting:

https://www.rt.com/news/469717-woman-strips-walmart-shoplifting/

[padraig]

nursecindy, your compassion for this guy and his trouser issues is, shall we say, touching? Maybe you and the other Blogettes could chip in and take him kilt shopping.

[Allen at Division]

I would think the girlfriend would be smiling more, but he doesn't really look like a friendly bloke.

[Harry Burns]

Sheldon the Wonder Schlong?
A Sheldon can do your income taxes.
If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit.

[ImNotDave]

Quoting Zappa "Anything more than a mouthful is wasted.".

[John Criswell]

So far 37 women and the entire staff of "Hustler" want to meet for coffee.