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September 11, 2019

SOMEBODY IS *SO* GROUNDED

Florida teen arrested after using her parents’ debit card to get cash to try to have them killed

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

A homeless man in Florida went on a car vandalism spree Monday, smashing at least 20 vehicles before getting tired and falling asleep on a nearby bench. When questioned by authorities, he said it happened because President Donald Trump "owes me one trillion dollars."

(Thanks to Rick Day)

9/11

A high school student I know was given an assignment where he had to interview someone who was an adult during the September 11 terrorist attacks of 2001.  His final questions to me were "What changes do you remember that took place across the country? Was there anything that was noticeably different to you?"  I mention your 2002 article in my response.  Just wanted to pass this along:

The terrorist attacks of 9/11/01 immediately led to the first and only instance where all of civil aviation was grounded for several days.  I believe all flights were grounded within three or four hours of the initial attack.  Incoming flights from overseas were diverted to Canada or elsewhere.  It was a travel nightmare for anyone trying to travel by air that week.

Many of us took the first opportunity we could to donate blood that week.  We were otherwise in shock over what had happened, and of course we followed the news about any hope of finding survivors amid the crumbled buildings.  Thankfully, and amazingly, some were rescued.

I recall that the popular late night talk show hosts were, like everyone, overwhelmed by what had happened.  People who make their living in comedy or entertainment were especially (and personally) challenged during that time.  Almost a year later humorist Dave Barry wrote this thoughtful reflection in reference to United flight 93, the plane that went down in Pennsylvania: On Hallowed Ground.  There are many other such tributes, which are greatly appreciated by those of us who experienced the event as it happened.

— Jim Kenaston

DEPARTMENT OF HEADLINES WE DID NOT EXPECT TO SEE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES

Are You Being Kind to Your Butt?

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man sets fire to mulch outside KFC to 'keep away the mosquitoes'

Note that because of this blog’s Strict Policy, we are not drawing undue attention to the suspect’s name.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Would you try zapping your penis with 'the Rocket' to treat erectile dysfunction at home?

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “a taser for your todger.”)

WE ASSUME IT HAS A FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Chimpanzee on the Loose in Santa Fe, Texas, Harassing Residents and Trying to Steal Cats

(Thanks to Ron Weil, Matt Filar and Doug Ogg)

IF WE DIDN’T HAVE RULES, WE WOULD HAVE ANARCHY

95-year-old can't renew his driver's license unless he can prove he was born

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

PLEASE CELEBRATE RESPONSIBLY

It’s Palindrome Week.

(Thanks to RTod Nunley)

WE’VE ALL HAD NIGHTS LIKE THAT

Pennsylvania man rescued from garbage truck after falling asleep in dumpster, officials say

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Al Barkafski)

CSI: LEELANAU COUNTY

Leelanau Co. Deputies Investigate Crash, Follow Trail of Parts to Suspect’s Home

(Thanks to Geoff, who says “AKA Michigan bread crumbs.”)

 
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