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August 29, 2019

THIS IS THE ONION, RIGHT?

Red Bull is paying $10 to Canadians who thought it would actually give them wings

(Thanks to Ralph)

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I've been afraid to flush my toilet for decades because the tidy bowl man might be in there. How much can I get for them to clean up my backyard?

Where do we sign to file a class-action lawsuit against lawyers?

Red Bull representative: "Meet us at the top of this cliff. We'll give you a Red Bull to drink and then give you your check."

Then push them off. If they survive, it'll be because they really did have wings, and you can cancel the check. If they don't, they'll never cash it anyway.

Here in the USA, the only people who believe bull--red or otherwise-- can help you fly live mostly in Washington, D.C.

If you drink enough of that hyper-caffeinated swill you won't fly, but you might jitter up and down for a couple of hours.

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