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August 05, 2019

THE ARMPIT?

Doctors HALT the menopause: Revolutionary 30-minute procedure delays the process by 20 years and tricks the body clock with ovary tissue implant into armpit

(Thanks to Dave N.)

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Can't wait to see the new lyrics to "Dry Bones."

The armpit's connected to the WHAT??!

"Guess what! You can extend your regular bouts of sickness, pain, staining leakage, emotional upheaval, fatigue, and inability to think clearly by twenty whole years!"

"Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"It's only £7,000."

"SOLD!"

It also has the potential to extend fertility – though doctors say the aim is to postpone the menopause rather than give women the chance to have babies into their 60s.
I'm glad they pointed out that it wasn't to give women in their 60s a chance to have babies. It was hard enough raising a teenage daughter when I was in my 30s. There's no way I'd be able to do it in my 70s.

There is no chance that anything could go wrong.

I believe that Halt the Menopause was the name of Cher's last Farewell Tour.

My wife had the menopause, complete with hot flushes and mood swings in her forties, then she got the breast cancer and had the surgery and the chemotherapy. Since her cancer was "estrogen-based" they gave her drugs that suppressed the production of the estrogen, and gave her the "symptoms of the menopause" complete with hot flushes and mood swings. We were told that she was to take these pills for five years. At the end of the five years, she was examined and determined to be cancer-free. But(and here is the punchline) we were told that she was continue to take the pills that gave her the menopause symptoms for another five years "to be on the safe side". Hahahahaha. I love a good menopause joke.

There could be serious implications to this...
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=armpit%20sex

Geez! As a girl of the female gender I think 20 ore years of monthly cycles and the addition buying of fat clothes and skinny clothes is not what I would say is a breakthrough.

vaporsmith: similar story for me, but I don't have very severe side effects from the estrogen suppressor. I would rather deal with 'warm flashes' than have cancer, you know? {{Mrs Vaporsmith}}

I know a guy who claims when his mother-in-law was going through menopause, every morning when her feet hit the floor the devil would say: "Oh crap, she's up!"

Having to wait another 20 years to make these kind of jokes could be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

So would this cause lumps under your arm?
Would two lumps be twins?

Jeff Meyerson: ROTFLMAO!!!

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