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August 17, 2019

IN FLORIDA...

...we call this parallel parking.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

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Police are investigating if the driver was impaired.

Most drivers would say:
"Officers, I wouldn't want people to think I would do something this stupid when I was sober."

"Possible impairment is being investigated by the police."

"There was an empty fifth on the headliner and a large pile of prescription pills laying against the driver's side front window. We are in the process of formulating scenarios thinking hard as to what factors could have possibly caused the accident."

A better parking job than the neighbor who keeps hitting the fire hydrant

After the two truck pulls the SUV out of that wedgie, offer to bet the driver $100 that he can't put it back in on purpose. If he's still drunk he'll try it. "C'mon, I'll even hold your beer while you try it."

Hey, those spaces closest to the electric power are reserved for EV parking.

Since this was in Vegas, the driver clearly was James Bond.

Deduct points for not being exactly parallel to the wall.

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