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July 22, 2019

RULE 1: STAY HOME

A Former FBI Agent Tells You How Not to Get Murdered on Vacation

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

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If you keep scrolling down to the Advice You Need to Know Before Visiting New York City, they leave out one important thing. If you are walking in Midtown, Times Square, Fifth Avenue, etc.: WALK! If you want to dawdle, fine, but get out of the way of New Yorkers who have places to go and things to do. If you are in a group, DO NOT walk four abreast and block the sidewalk. And if you want to know how to get to Carnegie Hall...practice!

Thank you for your attention.

Don't let anyone get the impression that you're an FBI agent.

How not to get murdered seems like a good self-help book.

My favorite reference guide was published several years ago by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner as the 2,000 Year Old Man. It includes "How not to die and other good tips."

"Lets take advantage that tourist over there using the filthy non verbal language with her dirty feet."

Le Pet and Jeff: that's why I always carry a bag of nectarines with me.
And I only travel when nectarines are in season.

One key instruction is "Don't go to Australia".

Why does he leave out the TSA?

Next on the agent's list is telling us how not to get murdered at home.

Also helpful would be how not to murder someone, especially close family on long road trips.

“From the moment we pack our bags to landing on the tarmac of our destination, traveling offers feelings of pure ecstasy. ”. This guy has never flown coach.

Walk softly and carry a big stink.

I'm Thinking a Flame Thrower Drrone Might have some useful applications in this regard.

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