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July 29, 2019

NO ROOM AT THE A'LE'INN

Rural Nevada not equipped for big ‘storm Area 51’ turnout

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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All the rooms have been booked by the aliens coming to pick up their buddies who have been "liberated" by the "storm".

Key Alien Research Center employee name: Linda Looney.

Think of the beer concession money that will be flowing.

Kidding aside, nobody seems to get that if they really try to "storm" Area 51, they will get shot.

Bradley King -
Shot no, but disintegration for sure. (They were never here).

ImNotDave, I grew up in the Air Force. They aren't known for their great sense of humor so chances are very good that anyone who tries to storm Area 51 will get shot.

Back in the 1980's, before GPS, I was doing mineral exploration and accidentally strayed onto part of Area 51 that had just expanded, but not on maps. A few minutes later a helicopter landed and six armed soldiers carrying AR rifles jumped out. A smiling Colonel came to me with an updated map and called me by my name. After I quickly agreed with the Colonel I took the updated map and got off Area 51.
Most of all, I was shocked they knew my name. If a bunch of idiots actually try to storm Area 51, it will end very badly for the idiots.

I'll bet all the local moms' basements are booked solid too.

Marvin the Martian and his Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator are on full alert.

The alien logistics officer is frantically ordering more probes, but in the rush they'll probably be the unlubricated type.

You can only park so many flying saucers out there in the desert.

Le Pet, either they saw your truck and ran your license plate, or they consulted the Super Earthling Database the aliens were running in the basement.

Rod--You are likely right about the license plate. The odd thing is I was in the middle of nowhere on a remote mining road and I hadn't seen another vehicle for some time. If they had hidden sensors that good back in the 80's, we can only wonder what Area 51 has for security nowadays.

The whole thing started out as a joke. And now, countless neckbeards, conspiracy clowns. anime geeks, and general flakes all claim they will converge on Area 51. It won't happen. Most of those saying "Hell Yeah!" on the internet won't be leaving their moms' basements to venture out to the deserts of southern Nevada. The average temperature down that way hovers at 100 F during the day. If they show, most will collapse like salted slugs.

I have no intention of going to Area 51 but for a different reason. We spent the night at Edwards AFB one night and even though it was in June, I almost froze to death that night. So if you're a little nut that plans on going there be sure to take a good blanket. You're gonna need it at night. Unless you've already been shot by the hosts at Edwards.

David H

Needless to say, Salted Slugs WBAGNFARB

I'm hoping President Trump will denounce the proposed storming of Area 51 on Twitter . . . because watching all twenty or so Democrat presidential candidates and half of Congress running across the Nevada desert just to spite him would be a hell of a lot more entertaining than watching the debates. Please, Mr. President, make it happen! If we're really lucky the Air Farce MPs will even taze a few of them . . .

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