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July 09, 2019

CSI: OREGON

Police say a man broke into a Gresham home, ate a cupcake, put on a woman’s Christmas onesie, and brought his cat along with him to the crime scene.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

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And he brought his cat, Spaghetti, with him.

So a cat and his burglar. Leading him down the crawl space of crime.

Sounds more like an unwanted relative that a desparate criminal.

The cat burglar strikes again.

I've had it with these burglars and their so-called "comfort" accomplices.

This IS Gresham, people. Portland considers Gresham to be out there

The general quality of our thief population has taken a serious nosedive lately.

First, I doubt very much that Spaghetti was a willing co-conspirator.
I forgot what I was going to say second.

He should be arrested for giving that name to a defenseless cat.

One night, a burglar broke into a
house which he assumed was empty. He tiptoed
through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar
crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the
voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a pretty dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same guy who named the Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

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