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July 18, 2019

YOU WILL NEVER GUESS THE STATE

Strip club patron can’t decide between wanting to fight and passing out after drinking 33 beers

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and pharmaross)

COINCIDENTALLY, THE REMARKABLY LOUD SNAPS USED TO OPEN FOR THE MOUTH-FIGHTING SPONGE-DWELLING WORMS

Remarkably loud snaps during mouth-fighting by a sponge-dwelling worm

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

ADVISORY

Big Penis supplement contains hidden ingredient, FDA warns

(Thanks to Kevin Smith and Peter [Har!] Metrinko)

IF THAT DOESN'T CHANGE HIS MIND, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

A 30-year-old Illinois woman repeatedly grabbed her 43-year-old boyfriend’s genitals and stabbed him in the scrotum with a knife because she didn’t want him to leave her, police said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

DATELINE NEBRASKA

Public art Spider-Man hands confused for devil horns, called anti-Christian

(Thanks to Ralph)

PROBABLY SO THEY CAN CHARGE MORE FOR THOSE SEATS

Airline helpfully tweets advice on where on a plane you are least likely to die in a crash

(Thanks to Zann B and John Lobert)

COULD BE ANOTHER SQUIRREL TRICK

Pop-Up Bar Hidden In A National Forest Offering Free Beer

(Thanks to Todd Thomas, who says "There are going to be many folks trying to sober up wondering why they're lost in the middle of a forest.")

AUSTRALIA, OF COURSE

These Horny Toads Hopped A Ride On a Snake To Avoid A Storm

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

IF YOU HAVE EYEBALLS...

...do NOT click here.

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Zann B)

OUR INTERNATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER

Police apprehend penguins who keep sneaking into sushi restaurant

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NOW ALL THE CHILDREN WILL WANT THIS

New Jersey Devils Mascot Runs Through Window At Kid's Birthday Party

(Thanks to John Lobert)

OR DRIVE THEM INSANE

City hopes ‘Baby Shark’ song will drive homeless away

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, Ralph, man tom, pharmaross, Allen at Division and Andrew Mendez, who says "If this doesn't work they will employ the nuclear option: Manilow.")

SMILE!

A Texas mother was stunned when she looked through her family’s vacation photos — and found a woman flashing her breasts behind them.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CSI: RAMSBOTTOM

Neighbors Get Nervous Seeing Mysterious Symbols Appearing, Inform The Police, Turns Out It’s A Butt

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

PRO TIP FOR OWNERS OF ROBOT VACUUMS:

Don't unleash your Roomba in a room containing dog poo.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

 
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