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June 25, 2019


...it's time to do something about it.

(Thanks to Dave N. and Not My Usual Alias)


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First, we ship all the rest of the world's squirrels to Central Park. Then we wall it off, just like in "Escape From New York". Then we send in Snake. Problem solved.

A more accurate survey would involve a few dozen drones

@No - the squirrels would shoot down a drone. Then Donald T would have to attack New York.

I'm waiting for the pigeon report.

This could send the time honored method of counting sheep to nod off to sleep into history. Pay only $75 (plus shipping and handling) for a copy of the Central Park Squirrel Survey and one could easily be bored into dreamland after a single page with no lingering bleating to disturb their sleep.

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

If you remove their nuts...

The “Central Park Squirrel Census Audio Report” is on a 45-RPM record??? Even the squirrels are using more advanced technology.

I still maintain that exploding peanuts are the answer.

Is that all?

Dave should be able to handle that tiny number all on his own single-handed.

C'mon Dave, get thee to Central Park and fix the damn problem!

Pretty common activity in NYC. Looking for tail in Central Park.

1. Baked Squirrel
4 cut up squirrels (use only hind legs and meaty back pieces)
1 chopped green bell pepper
2 Tbsp butter
4 Tbsp. red wine
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/4 c. vinegar
1 chopped onion
4 Tbsp. salt
1 tsp. Adolph's tenderizer
1 tsp. pepper
1 to 1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
Crisco and cooking oil
Mix vinegar and salt with water to cover squirrel. Soak 2 hours in solution. Remove pieces and shake on tenderizer and pepper. Roll in flour. Fry in Crisco until golden brown. Place pieces in baking dish.
In another skillet saute onion and pepper in butter. Add wine and soup. Mix well. Pour over squirrel. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.
Recipe courtesy of Cooks.com.

@Trew - I tried this recipe last night. A few tips:

1) Removing the fur would probably have made it easier to chew.
2) A splash of vinegar might cut the rubber (tire) aftertaste.
3) As long as you have that red wine open... (no sense letting it go to waste)

@Stix - but fur is fiber, it is good for your colon, I think.

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