FOR THE MOTHERLAND, COMRADES!
Russian cosmonauts keep refusing to provide semen samples during their space missions
(Thanks to pharmaross)
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June 30, 2019
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The Russians beat us into space with Sputnik. Here's our chance to even the score with Spunknik samples!
Posted by: pharmaross | June 30, 2019 at 11:27 AM
Of course.... They're space men, not sea men.
Posted by: Clankie | June 30, 2019 at 11:55 AM
One cosmonaut said, "I don't care how many Frank Sinatra records they play or how many dirty movies they show. It ain't happening".
Posted by: nursecindy | June 30, 2019 at 12:42 PM
They were not about to lose any of their precious bodily fluids.
Posted by: Le Petomane | June 30, 2019 at 12:45 PM
It seems a popular name over there:
Semen Bogdanov (1894–1960), Soviet Marshal of the Army
Semen Hulak-Artemovsky (1813–1873), Ukrainian opera composer, singer, actor, and dramatist
Semen Kirsanov (1906–1972), Ukrainian poet in Russia
Semen Korsakov (1787–1853 OS), inventor who was involved with an early version of information technology
Semen L. Frank (1877–1950), religious philosopher
Posted by: Qaz | June 30, 2019 at 12:47 PM
Their names are Seinfeldsky, Costanzakov, and Kramersky.
Posted by: Couch Surfer | June 30, 2019 at 01:37 PM
So much for Russian domination of space.
Posted by: Rod Nunley | June 30, 2019 at 02:26 PM
Needs moar cosmonettes?
Posted by: OldPhil | June 30, 2019 at 03:08 PM
Refusal to provide semen samples during space missions will thoroughly be investigated by semi-independent sources regarding the non-production of Russian space spores having a direct effect on the outcome of the U.S. election. Hillary Clinton appeared especially frigid while appearing to be sexually dysfunctional when commenting, "who the *hell* do these non-semen producing cosmonauts think they are, "Bill?" She further commented, "non-sperm producing Russians took Iowa from me."
Posted by: man tom | June 30, 2019 at 03:44 PM
Is that really what Russian space semen looks like??
Posted by: Veee | June 30, 2019 at 05:46 PM
They need to lend a hand for the benefit of science.
Posted by: chet | July 01, 2019 at 05:00 PM