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June 30, 2019

FOR THE MOTHERLAND, COMRADES!

Russian cosmonauts keep refusing to provide semen samples during their space missions

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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The Russians beat us into space with Sputnik. Here's our chance to even the score with Spunknik samples!

Of course.... They're space men, not sea men.

One cosmonaut said, "I don't care how many Frank Sinatra records they play or how many dirty movies they show. It ain't happening".

They were not about to lose any of their precious bodily fluids.

It seems a popular name over there:
Semen Bogdanov (1894–1960), Soviet Marshal of the Army
Semen Hulak-Artemovsky (1813–1873), Ukrainian opera composer, singer, actor, and dramatist
Semen Kirsanov (1906–1972), Ukrainian poet in Russia
Semen Korsakov (1787–1853 OS), inventor who was involved with an early version of information technology
Semen L. Frank (1877–1950), religious philosopher

Their names are Seinfeldsky, Costanzakov, and Kramersky.

So much for Russian domination of space.

Needs moar cosmonettes?

Refusal to provide semen samples during space missions will thoroughly be investigated by semi-independent sources regarding the non-production of Russian space spores having a direct effect on the outcome of the U.S. election. Hillary Clinton appeared especially frigid while appearing to be sexually dysfunctional when commenting, "who the *hell* do these non-semen producing cosmonauts think they are, "Bill?" She further commented, "non-sperm producing Russians took Iowa from me."

Is that really what Russian space semen looks like??

They need to lend a hand for the benefit of science.

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