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June 10, 2019

IT WAS ALLOWED TO BOARD ITS FLIGHT AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Russian airport on alert after huge brown bear wanders through security

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

STUDY PROVES THAT MOSQUITOES HAVE BETTER MUSICAL TASTE THAN HUMANS

Reseachers examined the effects of electronic music (Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrillex) on mosquitoes and whether it made them less likely to bite hosts. According to the study, those subjected to the music had a lower chance of getting bit than those not subject to the music.

(Thanks to Ralph)

LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!

Storm winds send Chick-fil-A cow flying through the air

(Thanks to John Lobert and Bob Brogan)

WE HOPE HE WASHED HIS HANDS AFTERWARD

Burger King employee filmed mopping table tops after cleaning the floors

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “I didn’t know they even cleaned the floors and tables.”)

SURELY THIS IS SIGNIFICANT

More women are hunting moose in Maine

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “Some good news, finally.”)

WE PLAN TO BE DEAD

Plan to alter Earth’s ORBIT to escape being eaten by dying Sun

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who asks “What could possibly go wrong?”)

DEAR ABBY:

"I discovered yesterday that when my husband got thrush in his nether regions due to being on anitbiotics. He asked his mother to take a look at it for him to see what she thought it might be. He's 34 years old and still showing his bits to his mum.”

(Thanks to John Lobert)

APPARENTLY THIS IS ILLEGAL EVEN IN FLORIDA

A naked man attempted to 'sling urine' on police officers in Daytona Beach after trying to get into a Daytona Beach convenience store, authorities said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OOPS

NYC Burger King has been passing off beef as Impossible Whoppers

(Thanks to pharmaross, who asks “Where’s the fake beef?”)

DEPARTMENT OF MEDICAL-FACILITY SIGNS YOU WILL NEVER SEE IN MIAMI

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