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June 06, 2019

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

15-mile-long cloud of ladybugs over California appears on weather radar

(Thanks to Steve K, who says “We’re gonna need more gentlemen bugs.”)

WE DON’T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE. BUT WE KNOW WHERE IT’S FROM.

Baby shark spotted at F train subway station

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Miami connection here.

THE REAL-ESTATE-AGENT TERM FOR THIS IS ‘MOOVE-IN CONDITION’

Cows spend month roaming in newly built house and riddle it with poo

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

THEY WON’T GET FAR ON FOOT

Metal thieves steal 56 tonne, 75 foot central section of Russian railway bridge

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jay Brandes)

IT’S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Authorities say a lengthy search near Binghamton came to a conclusion shortly after a Broome County resident discovered a wanted man naked in a chicken coop.

This happened in New York State, but you know where the man was from.

(Thanks to pharmaross, Kevin Meerschaert and Don Faber)

IN BUSINESS CLASS, YET

British Airways passenger horrified to find dried vomit on seat

(Thanks to Rod Nunley, who asks “How did it take two hours to notice this?”)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR STING

Fear of 'killer shrimps' could pose major threat to European rivers

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Not to get all Mr. Grammar Person on this headline, but: We think they mean the shrimps could pose the threat, not the fear, unless people are so afraid of the shrimps that they (the people) pee in the European (Ha!) rivers. 

FATHER KNOWS BEST

Man who landed in hospital after swallowing coin at party swears off stunt: 'Dad thinks I'm an idiot'

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

International Nutella crisis imminent as French workers go on strike

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

SUNSHINE STATE MARINER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Florida boat captain threatens to shoot passengers

(Thanks to Chris Elzi, pharmaross and Le Petomane)

IF YOU WISH TO EAT EVER AGAIN

Do NOT click here.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

THERE IS NO OTHER WORD FOR IT

When a Louisiana Taco Bell allegedly ran out of tacos, a consumer called the city's police department to report the "travesty."

(Thanks to pharmaross, Rod Nunley, John Lobert, Mark Schlesinger, Doug Ogg, Ralph, Barry Nester and wanderer 2575)

 
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