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April 11, 2019


Holding in a fart means you might ‘breathe it out your mouth’

(Thanks to [appropriately enough] Le Petomane)


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What goes up, must come down
Let it out before you drown

I'd hate to have to tell people that I made a living as a fart researcher.

How about a duct tape bikini fitter, Cindy? That would be a fun job.

Reminds me of the old joke: Did that fart blow by your mouth? Then it must have went in.

Sounds like a serious design flaw in the ventilation system.


And if you've been listening to CSPAN lately, you know how often that can happen.

^5 for clankie

Scientists have long suspected that spontaneous human combustion is caused by smokers who hold in their farts, light a cigarette and then belch.
It is much better to be thought of as not having good manners than to make an ash out of yourself.

Funny, this seems to be a hot topic lately. Within the past couple of weeks I've not only heard comedian Russell Howard say he and his brother used to tape their butts shut to try to fart through their mouths, but also read in Thomas Lennon's newly-published Ronan Boyle, "His bagpiping is legitimately scary. The whole time it looked like his eyeballs were about to pop out. Or perhaps he had somehow passed gas in reverse."

Time for other media entities to get in on the trend. Attention: Rachael Ray, the Times crossword puzzle, and the Metropolitan Museum o'fart–OF ART, 'scuse.

Well South Park had an episode where people learned they could eat through their butts and poop through their mouths. Does that count?

It's called rectal discourse, also known as talking out ones ass. I could have saved the scientists the trouble, I know several human examples of this...plus Congress and the State Legislature.

@StevieW--The South Park episode where Martha Stewart shoved a whole turkey up her butt is the type of comedy we enjoy!

Congress + duct taped on Brooks Brothers.

"...eventually exhaled through the lungs or excreted in the shape of a fart."

The shape of a fart??

You can hold my heart,
but never hold a fart.

(Sorry, but that's the extent of my poetry.)


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