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April 25, 2019

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO WADDLE AWAY

Man says he's 'too fat' for DUI test

Guess the state.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

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Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

This dude's excuse of not being able to see his feet made me think back on Victor Buono's Fat Man's Prayer:

"We are what we eat
Said a wise old man
Lord, if that's true
I'm a garbage can."

Dave, I think you missed the buried lead in this story (quote from actual article):
In other contexts, a Rubenesque physique is celebrated. For example, the British rock bands Queen and Spinal Tap had hit songs titled “Fat Bottomed Girls” (1978) and “Big Bottom” (1984), respectively. Lyrics of the former include, “Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round,” while lyrics to the latter include, “The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin', that's what I said, the looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand, or, so I've read.”

Now that's journalism.

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