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April 16, 2019


Texas woman allegedly attacks husband after getting silence when she asked if she's pretty

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Jack Eberling)


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He just failed "Being a Husband 101". I predict a shorter lifespan for him.

Putting his fingers in his ears when she talks did not help the situation for him.

Of course, he didn't answer because there is no right answer. Even if you say "yes", she'll just accuse you of lying to try and make her feel better.

It could have been worse. The question could have been, "Do these jeans make my hips look fat?" There is no safe answer known to man.

It wasn't a difficult question to answer, he must have been busy on his phone.

Lucy Van Pelt: You DO think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown?

Lucy Van Pelt: You didn't answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would've spoken right up. I know when I've been insulted. I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED.

Charlie Brown: Good grief.

Hey, the guy is probably innocent. I'm sure there are other longtime married guys who just don't hear a percentage of what their wives say on a day to day basis. Or am I the only one?
Anyone? Bueller?

Lying is the only recourse. Marriage is the prime instigator for violating the 9th Commandment.

The correct answer is:
Not only are you pretty but you are also the most beautiful, intelligent woman that I've ever seen. I'm so lucky, no blessed, to have you in my life.

Does this comment make my butt look fat?

@nursecindy--You wrote the perfect man answer and you didn't mention any names, which is safe. Accidentally calling your wife by some other woman's name has sent many men to the ER.

Le Petomane I've seen a few of those men in the ER. I always told them that was the reason we invented the words sweetheart and honey.

The silence of the lame.

The male selective hearing trait is a normally a survival advantage. In this case it is a survival and reproductive disadvantage.

In addition to NurseCindy's answer, our judges would also have accepted "Pretty? Hell, yes! But that's only ONE of the reasons I married you, sweetie."

Don't worry Mikey, the comment doesn't make your butt look fat.

It's those striped clown pants.

Costello: " Never marry a pretty girl. "
Abbott: " Why ? "
Costello: " A pretty girl might run away with someone else. "
Abbott: " An ugly girl might run away too. "
Costello: " Yes, but who cares ? "

Thank you wiredog! I think.

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