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April 19, 2019

ATTENTION STEPHEN KING

'Dead' dog digs out of its GRAVE and returns to its stunned Russian owners who'd buried it’

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Comments

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He was just pining for the fjords.

If I were this dog I'd be careful about going to sleep or taking any naps.

From the way that dog keeps looking at the rescuers throat, this story could end badly.

Monty Python predicted this, sort of:
Mrs. Conclusion (Chapman): Hullo, Mrs. Premise.

Mrs. Premise (Cleese): Hullo, Mrs. Conclusion.

Conclusion: Busy Day?

Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat.

Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat?

Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still.

Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then?

Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side.

Conclusion: Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down.

Premise: Really - is it very old?

Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow.

Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then?

Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak.

Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo.

Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*!

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