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April 25, 2019

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO WADDLE AWAY

Man says he's 'too fat' for DUI test

Guess the state.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Judge Judy changes up her hair for the first time in decades

(Thanks to The Perts)

BOLO

3 People Steal $450,000 Worth Of Colonoscopes From Lankenau Medical Center, Police Say

(Thanks to Marie)

LIBBY: CRIME HOTBED OF FLATHEAD COUNTY

5:59 a.m. A Libby woman called 911 to make sure she wasn’t going to be blamed for kidnapping her son.

8:48 a.m. A Libby resident reported that something mysterious fell down a chimney.

9:27 a.m. A Libby man had information about two different crimes: The theft of millions of dollars and some sort of bombing.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

INSECT GUYS IN ACTION

How sex-crazed insects mate non-stop for 79 DAYS, have eyes on their penises and continue bonking even when their head’s been chopped off

(Thanks to pharmaross)

YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?

Hunter filmed ordering McDonald’s while carrying dead deer over his shoulder

(Thanks to Hayseed Tom and Allen at Division)

SURE, IT'S 'ADORABLE' UNTIL IT GETS HOLD OF HIS GUN

Adorable video shows squirrel clinging to police officer's leg

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND THEN IT ATE THEM

People Stop Traffic To Help Enormous Snake Safely Cross The Road

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet, who notes with surprise that this was not in Australia)

YET ANOTHER REASON TO BAN ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC

A preliminary analysis done by UM scientists show toadfish, a species that is common to Biscayne Bay with a physiology that lends itself to study of stress response, heard the music and exhibited acute stress levels during Ultra’s first day on Virginia Key. The report shows the fish were less stressed than if they were in a crowded tank but more stressed than if they heard the pop sounds from a dolphin, a species with a taste for toadfish.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

THEY SCARED IT AWAY BY THREATENING IT WITH HAGGIS

Kids find 7ft boa constrictor on their doorstep in Scotland

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Pennsylvania Honors the Snot Otter

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and LAschkenasy)

UPDATE

A man in an Easter bunny suit who went viral after breaking up a fight between a man and a woman in Florida has a criminal record and an outstanding warrant in New Jersey.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who informs this blog that he is "shocked.")

AND THIS WAS BEFORE THE DISCOVERY OF KETCHUP

Analysis of caveman’s poo reveals he ate an entire RATTLESNAKE

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, Rod Nunley, Matt Filar, pharmaross, Hayseed Tom, Le Petomane and Al Barkafski)

 
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