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April 23, 2019

NORTH TEXAS DINING REPORT

North Texas Mr. Jim’s Restaurant Temporarily Shuts Down After Employees Allegedly Put Miralax On Pizza

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Barry Nester and Rod Nunley)

MAYBE, FOR GOOD LUCK, THEY SHOULD TOSS THIS PASSENGER FROM THE PLANE

Another airline passenger tosses coins at plane for good luck, gets whole flight delayed

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CELEBRITY UPDATE

Justin opens the song with "Hi, I'm a baboon, I'm like a man, just less advanced and my anus is huge."

(Thanks to pharmaross)

STATESPERSONS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Rival politicians accused each other of using drugs. The result was a showdown at a urinalysis lab.

Send them and their urine samples to Washington.

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Hayseed Tom)

DUDE, THAT'S A NEARLY THREE-DAY SUPPLY

Oregon has 1 million pounds of unsold cannabis

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

EVIDENTLY CHUCK E. CHEESE'S WAS CLOSED

Police break up massive brawl at Worlds of Fun

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

SOON TO BE AN ACTION MOVIE

A man carrying a glass of beer has been rescued from the sea

They managed to persuade him to wade back to the shore, where he was met by the police and given suitable advice.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Monitor lizard removed from gas station toilet

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THE WHO?

The Hu Brings Mongolian Metal to No. 1 on Hard Rock Digital Song Sales Chart

(Thanks to Ralph, who says "Hu's on first.")

NAME THAT CONTINENT!

Snake devours huge frogmouth outside woman's window, disturbing video shows

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

FATHER'S DAY IS COMING

Bulletproof Men's Underwear

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

 
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