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April 10, 2019

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Deputies surround burglar in Oregon home, find out suspect is Roomba trapped in bathroom

(Thanks to Don Faber and Ralph)

HOW DO YOU THINK HE GOT THE $8 MILLION?

Man accused of stealing from Kmart days after buying $8 million private island

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

A woman who was recently indicted in a Nashville murder case is facing additional charges after allegedly walking into an area Waffle House naked while waving a gun in the air.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says “Chuck E. Cheese’s being closed...”)

WHILE THE SO-CALLED ‘UNITED NATIONS SECURITY COUNCIL’ DOES NOTHING

Giant Technicolor Squirrels Actually Roam the Forests of Southern India

(Thanks to Fearless Phil)

DO NOT READ BELOW THIS HEADLINE. SERIOUSLY, DON’T.

A woman's infection turned out to be bees living in her eye, feeding on her tears

(Thanks to Dave Roe, Greg Snow and The Perts)

STRUMPDATE

Really fun event with my old pal Alan Zweibel last night for Live Talks LA, which was created by another old pal, Ted Habte-Gabr. Thanks to everybody who came out. Tonight at 7 I’ll be at Third Place Books in Seattle. Hope to see you there. Meanwhile here’s a link to a TV interview I did in New York City, which seems like several decades ago, when I was younger and had clean clothes in my carry-on. 

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That’s me on the left.

 
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