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March 29, 2019

WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS

BA47DFB4-164B-4E40-ACE8-A7E38FE5FBB7

(Thanks to Andrew Simmons, who says “I can’t bring myself to try this, so I can’t confirm whether the meaty chunks of chicken free chicken taste like chicken.”)

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We already have beer-free beer (aka Bud Light), so this is just a natural progression.

Does it have that fishy taste?

I heard they taste somewhere between rattlesnake and bald eagle.

Padraig I'd rather eat a rattlesnake or a bald eagle.

McDonald's has been serving this for years under the guise of "McNuggets". Which I happen to like, chicken or not.

I remember the Good Old Days when we just called it "mystery meat" and ate it anyway.

Ingredients labels?--We didn't need no stinkin' labels.

Makes me wonder when they'll have soy-free soy.

Clever packaging —
the clear window located just under the chicken's anal passage.

Egg or guano? Or a little bit of both!

Eat them with TGI Fridays potato skins with no skin.

This is bad. It will result in nasty chicken gyros, causing 911 calls, and all our cops spending their time at donut shops.

So why is there a picture of a chicken ?

Yes, but does it contain gluten?

This is WILD meaty chicken -- totally different from domestic meaty chicken. Probably it's organic as well. The higher price is fully justified.

When offered I just say I'm allergic to all gluten free products.

Original Wild Meaty Chunks of Clean Lean Plant Protein
from Auckland-based Sunfed Meats

I am so confused.

Qaz, if you're out there, can you help shed some light on this?

I might pay big bucks for kale-free kale.

I certain Mock Meat opened for Silver Convention.

Question: Are wild, free range Australian chickens venomous?

"BP introduced vegan chicken pies using Sunfed’s chicken “meat” at all BP petrol station cafes across the country."

British Petroleum is a giant petro-chemical company. So I assume the "chicken meat" is a byproduct of the petroleum refining process. And because it is sold at gas stations it's shelf life span is probably about 20 years. My guess it is simply vulcanized rubber.

To clarify for confused readers, the meaty chunks are totally uncontaminated by meat, and apart from water the main ingerdient is yellow split peas (Ingredients: Water, Pea Protein, Rice Bran Oil, Pea Fibre, NZ Pumpkin, Natural Yeast Extract, NZ Maize Starch.). Full details, including videos showing people whose taste buds appear to have been surgically removed claiming that the product does indeed taste exactly like chicken, can be found here:
https://sunfedfoods.com
It makes me proud to think that this product was created in New Zealand.

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