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March 22, 2019


Chinese customers warned of electric shock risk from toilet seats

(Thanks to Ralph)


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Electric booga-loo?

"Death on the bidet" was a rejected S.King short story.

It'ss not faulty. That's a hidden feature. A built-in timer that says, "Hey, let's move along. You weren't going to finish that Sudoku anyway; it's level 4, for Pete's sake."

Exactly, Stixnstonz. Dad taking too long on the toilet? Not any more.

It would definitely help constipated people.

Just in time for my colonoscopy prep

Faulty? Substandard?!

These terms, along with haphazard, slapdash, and slipshod are to be used to describe the investigation and reporting on these smart toilet seats.

*Nowhere* in the article does it inform of this breakthrough medical technology for electroconvulsive and aversion therapies.

Great, now everyone's going to start hovering over the seat. Judi is going to be hurting a lot of people.

Gannon and I were working the Chinatown division. It was a rainy afternoon and the aroma of fried pork hung heavy in the air as a bad Chinese dumpling. We both disliked working Chinatown because an hour after shift we were both hungry for a cheeseburger.

The call we responded to was a man smoking illegally in a restroom. We tried to talk the man out, but he kept smoking illegally. I kicked the door in and we both knew right away this perp was a serial smoker, smoking his last smoke. Also we knew we wouldn't want a cheeseburger after this shift was over.
----Joe Friday

So the Chinese promptly attached a second ground wire to wrap around your other testicle in order to create a more stable ground. /fixed.

@LePetomane -

"Fortunately for us, calls like this one are rare. Unfortunately for our suspect, this one was well-done."

I managed to avoid the squat toilets for the year I was in China, which was no small feat when I had a few months of gastric distress. My shower had open electrical wires that went with the water heater, so I still experienced the choice of shock from cold water or shock from electricity in the morning.

In other toilet seat news, this model purports to be a life saver.

@Stixnstonz--Thanks for the better bad ending. At least Joe and Gannon didn't have to grill the suspect.

@ Le Pet-

Shanghai Surprise indeed.

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