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March 27, 2019

NO NEED TO GUESS THE STATE

Spring is here; it's time for Tips For Living With Alligators

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Is this a companion piece to autumn's "Tips for Living With Hurricanes"?

Hmmm. There could be a movir in this. 'Alligatornado..

JG, you just identified Tara Reid's next job.

I’d say the most important tip is DON’T.

Alligators are rarely aggressive toward humans if you leave them alone. The same is not true of Florida mosquitos with Zika, dengue, chikungunya, etc.

Tips for living with disease-bearing mosquitos: move to Antarctica.

Great journalism is still alive and well. Whoever wrote these lines could become another Mark Twain.

"When fed, alligators can overcome their natural wariness and learn to associate people with food." If you need help following this to it's logical conclusion, you need more help than we can provide here.

There's nothing lower than an alligator bully.

DANG! I can't bully the alligators? Can I just taunt them, "You'd make a great pair of shoes and a handbag."

I remember in Miami there used to be a kind of "village" for the richer people, and there was a pond with alligators in the middle. I never understood that no one was afraid of them.

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