« February 2019 | Main

March 22, 2019

ANYONE FOR A DIP?

Alleged trafficker had 7 sharks in backyard pool in Dutchess County

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

AND THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Nearly 3,000 piglets on the loose after crash on I-70 in Illinois

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Not My Usual Alias and Rod Nunley)

WELCOME, MONKEY SHOULDER

A distillery announced its giant mixing truck, which looks like a hybrid of a cement mixer and a martini shaker, is going on a tour of Florida.

(Thanks to Ralph)

SOON IT WILL BE FLYING AS A 'SERVICE ANIMAL'

Texas man brings steer to Petco to test ‘all leashed pets are welcome’ policy

(Thanks to Ralph, Suzie Q Wacvet and pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT THEY WORK GREAT

Chinese customers warned of electric shock risk from toilet seats

(Thanks to Ralph)

March 21, 2019

COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

Everybody's doing it: Google Florida Man and your birthday

(Thanks to Howard Cohen)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man accidentally shoots himself after throwing gun at cockroach to kill it

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

A Florida man has been arrested after he allegedly shoved a woman when she wouldn't let him in the house to eat egg rolls.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THEY WILL NOT STOP UNTIL HUMANITY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED

Squirrel attacks man at his Sarasota County home

(Thanks to pharmaross, Fabian Marson and Emily, Leslie and w)

WE'LL JUST GRAB A SODA FROM THE MACHINE, THANKS

1 in 5 office mugs contain faecal matter - and it's probably not your own

(Thanks to John Lobert and pharmaross)

THERE'S PROBABLY A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

Alleged burglar found stuck in dentist office's ceiling on Long Island

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BUST A MOVE

CHP chase ends in suspect breakdancing

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Another excuse for us to post this scene from Reno 911.

BUT THEY WERE CONSENTING LLAMA PUPPETS

Fall Out Boy Sued for Over-Using Llama Puppets

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Marks and Spencer shoppers were shocked to see this season's Easter bunnies striking a rather 'suggestive' pose.

(Thanks to Roberto, who says "far worse than Brexit.")

THAT WILL DEFINITELY DO IT

‘Flat Earthers’ planning bizarre Antarctica trip to prove conspiracy theory

(Thanks to John Gregg)

CALIFORNIA TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

State Employees Confused By New ‘Riot’ Button In Elevators At Sacramento Building

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

IS THERE ANYTHING IN AUSTRALIA *BESIDES* SNAKES?

Tasty tangle as spotted black snake makes a meal of red-bellied black snake

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Update: OK, there's this.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Dave Roe)

'IT WAS A GIFT SENT FROM THE HEAVENS'

'Magic fridge' full of cold beer found in flooded Nebraska field

(Thanks to Catherine DeLorey, Ann and pharmaross)

THE DOWNSIDE: YOU HAVE TO POUR KETCHUP ON YOUR HEAD

Study reveals chemical in McDonald's fries may be cure for baldness

(Thanks to Ralph)

FLORIDA LEADERSHIP UPDATE

Want to be mayor of Port Richey? Show up Tuesday. No felonies, please.

(Thanks to The Perts)

March 20, 2019

WE'RE ON OUR WAY

Burst pipe at a brewery floods street with beer

(Thanks to DaninDallas, who says "We're gonna need more pretzels.")

'TO GET SOME FACTS STRAIGHT NOTE THAT THIS PROCEDURE DOESN'T MAKE YOU DEAF'

Body modification enthusiast has half of his EARS removed for bizarre look

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

DUDE, WHERE DO WE APPLY?

Colorado marijuana and driving study: Volunteers get paid to get high

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

AND IN SPORTS

Auburn Tigers dubbed winners of 'sex tournament' by Alabama TV station in on-air blunder

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AUSTRALIA IS UNIMPRESSED

A Texas homeowner saw a 'few' rattlesnakes and called for help. The removal company found 45 of them

(Thanks to pharmaross, Rod Nunley and Kevin Smith)

A FLORIDA LEARNER'S PERMIT IS ON THE WAY

13-year-old driver clocked at 100 mph in police chase in northern Idaho

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

RYANAIR: CHUCK E. CHEESE'S OF THE SKY

Ryanair passenger ‘has nose bitten off’ when brawl kicks off on flight to Tenerife

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

HE LOOKS FINE TO US

West Topsham man charged with drugged driving

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

MOO

Cow runs away from Indiana police, blocks traffic and goes to Chick-Fil-A

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, pharmaross and Stan Ruth, who says "Advertising works.")

OINK

Feds seize 1 million lbs. of pork smuggled from China to N.J. port amid African swine fever outbreak

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes and Rod Nunkey, who asks "Why smuggle in foreign pork when we have Congress?")

March 19, 2019

OOPS

Bride demanded refund for 'lost' flowers - but florist saw them in wedding snaps

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

'IT IS UNKNOWN WHERE THE COW CAME FROM'

NYPD officers corral wayward cow running on Bronx highway

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE HORSE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

California Highway Patrol officers made an "equine stop" Sunday and pulled over a 49-year-old man suspected of riding a horse while intoxicated near Watsonville.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man tests Tesla Autopilot anti-collision feature by trying to run over his WIFE

(Thanks to Jack Eberling)

SO HOW WAS YOUR COMMUTE?

Six men in court after 'stripping off and throwing POO at each other on a train'

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT ALIENS

NASA issues space herpes warning as virus reactivates in astronauts

(Thanks to Dave Roe, Steve Thompson, Mark Schlesinger and pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY VISIT

A woman visiting her parents’ Long Island burial plot descended into more than despair — she sank hip-deep into their grave, a lawsuit claims.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and pharmaross)

SWITCH TO DECAF

A man has claimed an adverse reaction to coffee forced him to throw up in a Hastings movie theatre, headbutt a staff member and resist police arrest.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GUESS WHAT HE WAS CHARGED WITH

Florida man accused of throwing pancake batter at woman arrested

(Thanks to pharmaross and Allen at Division)

March 18, 2019

SHE WAS EMBARRASSED, BUT NOT TOO EMBARRASSED TO PUT IT ON FACEBOOK

Alyssa Stringfellow, 25, sent a car insurer photos of herself instead of her car.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE CONSTITUTION

Hillsborough calls Flintstone House a ‘public nuisance’

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

SEND THIS TURKEY TO WASHINGTON

A turkey appeared to play the role of a crossing guard so other turkeys could cross the road amid traffic.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE CONSIDERED MAKING A HUGH HEFNER JOKE HERE, BUT WE HAVE TOO MUCH CLASS

World’s Oldest Semen, Frozen for 50 Years, Successfully Used to Impregnate Sheep

(Thanks to The Fourth George)

YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL

German police say a drunken man with a fire extinguisher smashed his way into the driver’s cab of a high-speed train running from Frankfurt to Paris and demanded that the driver slow down.

(Thanks to EricY)

BECAUSE THEY'RE AUSTRALIANS

Australians rescued a giant spider. The rest of the world wonders why.

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

A HERO FOR OUR TIMES

Boy gets taught important lesson for not taking feet off train seat by total stranger

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

SEXY!

“Took some lad home with me and he undone my bra and loads of chicken nuggets just came falling out,” she wrote.

(Thanks to Hayseed Tom)

YIKESSSSSS

En route to Australia, we assume...

(Thanks to John Lobert)

March 17, 2019

THIS IS NOT GOOD

ESA Space Orbiter Detects ‘Hairy Blue Spider’ on Mars

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AS IS HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

An Oklahoma woman was arrested after authorities say she used a T-shirt gun to launch drugs, cellphones and other contraband over a prison fence.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

 
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