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March 17, 2019

HELLO, 911?

A succinct, two-section bill introduced this week in the Georgia General Assembly would make men 55 and older self-report each and every time they ejaculate — immediately, to the nearest law enforcement agency.

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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"Is anyone else involved and if so do they have any guns, knives or illegal weapons other than the one you already mentioned?

"Were swamped with calls today, can you hold off for about an hour and I'll get an officer right over?"

911 operator--"OK, sir you are sixty-six years old and reporting an ejaculation as required by law. Now I need to ask if this was an honest ejaculation or are you simply bragging?"

If Alabama is smart they'll start building more motels on the Alabama/Georgia state line.

Being of age for this, I just have to take it as a compliment that someone is apparently interested.

@from Athens - as a fellow Georgia male who also qualifies, I will proudly perform my civic duty and report as required.

Note of explanation: This bill was introduced in response to and extremely restrictive abortion bill.

"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."

Damn. I'm going to have to switch to an unlimited calls cell plan...

Whatever the reason, the bill is one paperclip away from becoming law

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