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March 14, 2019

DEPARTMENT OF INEVITABILITY

Pennsylvania man named Sober arrested for drunken driving

(Thanks to Al Barkafski, Rod Nunley, Le Petomane and Don Faber)

Florida woman named Crystal arrested for crystal meth trafficking

(Thanks to Keithintampa)

Comments

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His parents had clearly set him up to fail.

(* Starts searching for news articles about someone named Virgin *)

"Your Honor, my client couldn't possibly be guilty of drunk driving. He's been sober his entire life."

Watch out for people named Randy...

Crystal, that is a hard 47. Just saying.

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